Hey Guys! How are you all?
It’s been a while since I last posted. What can I say life has been crazy a roller coaster ride with deadlines, Exams preparation and wedding celebration? As some of you may or may not know, depending on whether you read my pervious blog (WHY I HATE SHOPPING). My best friend got married YHYHYH….. I don’t sound to enthusiastic do I that’s because I’m exhausted. Fulfilling maid of honour duties was hard work, the title “MAID of honour” sure lives up to its name. Needless to say the wedding was amazing and I had so much fun.
At the wedding I came across people who made the wedding experience much more interesting. Here are the types of people I came across.
This person goes to a lot of weddings, therefore they think they know everything about weddings and can make criticism. They expect the food to be at a five start quality when everyone knows that a menu at an Asian wedding consists of Naan and biryani served with dal or lamb curry and for deserts Rasmalai and Gulab Jamun (indian sweet) and that’s about it.
Food Critic: This Chicken is so dry it has no taste to it.
Me: That’s beef you’re eating not chicken. *Smirks*
Food Critic: *Looks pissed off* OHH! Well they need to add more flour to it so people can tell the difference. The wedding decoration is really tacky I mean who goes for a black and white theme.
Me: I love the decoration it’s something new and different it’s vintage.
The “freelance” photographer
The Freelance photographer notice how the word FREE is in freelance. This person comes to the wedding thinking they are the photographer, when in fact the bride and groom have actually paid for a proper photographer. This person is always up close to in your face with a camera pointed at your face and capture the worse angles. They over shadow the actual photographer and come in between shots because they want to capture get a better picture.
Freelance photographer: Hey now look this. LOOK AT MY CAMERA. Say cheese.
Me: Looks at them confused. I’m sure the bride and groom have payed someone to take pictures why are you going through so much trouble only to capture an unflattering angle of my double chin. But smiles anyway.
The loud/show off Aunt
This person is so loud you can hear them from 10 miles away. They are literally screaming at the person they are talking to. They like to make others aware of how awesome their life is, even at the expense of making others feel bad. They will talk about their expensive new car, their designer new clothes, even about their dog. BUT 99.9% of the time whatever they are boasting about is extreme exaggeration.
The loud/show off Guest: *Screaming* Do you like my new jewellery I just brought it from Dubai it one of a kind.
Me: It’s beautiful Aunty it completes your eyes beautifully. (What is really want to say is the necklace is longer than your nose).
The couple that got married recently
This couple thinks they know it all. They tell you all the do’s and don’ts of married life, what expect and what not to expect, but in fact they themselves have only been married for a month. What is worse is that they are still in their honeymoon phase so you hear a lot “Where is my wife have you meet my wife you are going to love her she is fabulous” or “don’t you think my wife is the prettiest she looks great I have the prettiest bride of all. “OH honey please stop your embarrassing me” “AAWW you look even prettier you blush”. **ME: I think I’m going to throw up please get me a bucket**
The Match Maker
If you have not come across this person it’s normally an aunty, all I can say to you is you are lucky very lucky. This Aunty is more worried about finding you a man than she is about her own life. Her ultimate goal in life is to find you a suitable partner. She is the walking, breathing matrimonial site, even shaadi.com is a failure compared to her. She will find you the most suitable match with exactly the same height, complexion, and salary.
The match maker: Hi beta! How are you? How old are you. You look old enough to get married, are you married, are you looking to get married I have loads of rishtas (marriage proposal) what you looking for doctor or engineer. You tell me I will find to someone suitable.
Me: Traumatised this lady didn’t even take a breath. *Stands there embarrassed and annoyed, thinking to myself WHY OH WHY does it have to be me couldn’t she have found someone else to match make. Sorry Aunty I’m not looking to get married. *Walks away fast as possible not looking back.*
This list is in no way exhaustive. Just based on my encounters, Feel free to add to it!